Are they nice?

One of the most common questions I've heard is "are they really nice?". They being the kiwi's. At first, the automatic pilot said Yes. Very nice. And then I started to think about it more. First of all, what does "nice" mean? And, are they really?

Week 3 has me responding a bit differently.

New Zealanders are informal and relaxed. They operate with less formality - although are very polite. They don't say "how are you"...but do say "good morning." Is that nice?

What's more noteworthy, actually, is not whether THEY are nice, but whether I am niceR. And the answer is YES. New Zealanders behave in a way that invites my niceness [think Jack Nicholson pleading with Helen Hunt in his wonderful testament "you make me want to be a better man."] Their general laid-backness and informality and politeness takes the edge off of me. A cultural sandpaper if you will. They smooth out my rough edges. My impatience. My intolerance of anything less than immediate. [Is it American to want everything RIGHT NOW!!!]

I'm not sure why these folks are informal. Perhaps it is the climate. Hard to be too uptight in a town where there are more ice-cream shops than bars; not a Starbucks for 100 kilometres; and half of the population is barefoot.

Back to the insight. Nice is a term we use rather mindlessly. It tends to be a generic bucket we drop people into as a characterization of their personality. In thinking about my new countrymen, I'd now say that kiwi's are hosts to our own niceness. A welcome mat to our courtesy, patience and connection.

We are nicer here.