Now that's customer service!

When things break in my home, I get worked up. It is bad enough that the thing - be it a washing machine, garbage disposal or most commonly, one of ComCast's many monopolies on our home's TV, On-Demand and Internet service - is out of whack, it means that one of us has to schedule and wait for the repairman.

Just as we have in so many other parts of our marriage, we've sorted out the repair business. Brent handles the electronics, and I handle the appliances. [He watches the TV and I do the laundry so although ABT routinely puts ComCast to shame, what's fair is fair].

Just about everything in our home is warrantied so though we don't have to PAY for every service visit, there is the business of WAITING for the repair man.

This has become my own fresh hell. And the source of my instant bad mood when a motor dies or red light goes on.

It means I will be on hold for some truly intolerable amount of time - likely be transferred to an outsourcing center in Mombay [where at least I can now ask them their views of Slumdog Millionaire] - given an eight-hour window to stay chained at home even though I KNOW they NEVER come to me first.

It also means that one out of two times, the repair guy will be a no show. And I'll start the whole process again - this time jabbing zero, zero, ZERO until I get a human being.

Living in a hotel here in New Zealand has made almost all of that moot. We've had a few "repair" issues - a bulb out; the stereo didn't work; the stovetop burner needed a new something or other. I just walk outside my patio door on any given morning and find Mohammed tinkering with an errant sprinkler or on his way to change a light bulb. Mohammed is the Portside's hugely talented and very accommodating electrician, who also doubles as a repairman. By now, I'd think that he'd make a run for it whenever he sees me coming...but no, always a good morning with a nod of the head to wonder what else I've found out of sorts.

However, even as the prophet's namesake, Mohammed does not fix Skype when the audio goes out; nor does he fix the fact that my computer is sending out multiple versions of the same message driving my colleagues a bit nuts. For that problem, I turned to "Need a Nerd" - the kiwi answer to Geek Squad. I met the local Need a Nerd franchise owner - Kirsten - in one of my networking forays. Kirsten and her husband also own the local Mobil station and I'm now wondering if the mechanics there do double duty? Toyota engines by day, HP laptops after 5. Kirsten and I get to talking about business one day and it turns out she is a real stickler for customer service. Before I can even launch into one of my diatribes, Kirsten shares the following practice she's implemented in her business.

If one of her techs is more than 10 minutes late and they don't call you first, they must do 20 push-ups when they do arrive and the service is free.

I was going to let the Skype thing go...and tell my colleagues to suck it up about the extra messages...but this prospect of a free fix AND watching a techie stud do calesthenics was just too intoxicating. So, I hired Need a Nerd.

The morning of the appointment, I sat by the clock almost daring it to turn 9:30. At 9:27 a.m., my phone rang. "Sam, here," announced the nerd. "Whereabouts are you in the hotel."
DRAT! He's not only on time, he's EARLY. I confess to him my disappointment. No pushups? [I thought maybe he'd give me a free sample or something]. "Nope. Never." Sam proceeds to do all those completely mysterious things IT guys do and in a matter of minutes, he's figured out the reason my laptop has been spewing forth messages...a real gusher with anything over 5 megakilabytes.

I'm quite relieved by the repair...but next time around will definitely not ask for Sam. I'm still hoping for the tardy nerd to "drop and give me 20." Meantime, I am going to be in contact with the folks at ComCast to suggest they consider adopting this practice. I'm not entirely confident they could muster the push-ups...but the free service would be nice!