What are friends for?

How many times have I responded with that question when someone thanks me for some mundane exchange of relationship reciprocity? In retrospect, I've used the term flippantly. Absentmindedly. Filing-my-nails tuned out...on automatic pilot.

Well, when you relocate to New Zealand for six months and happen to have a dog, you learn about QUARANTINE. Which basically entails spending more than you would on a first class round-trip ticket for the canine to fly cargo not to mention the expense involved for dozens of tests; and paperwork up the wazoo.

So, we moved here on an empty-nester whim, but what about the pooch?

What do to with your adored, spoiled, thoroughbred Havanese?

This is where the terms "stepping up" and "unequivocal love" and "separating the men from the boys" come in handy.

Jennifer and Scott hosted Baci for three months. It was only after I came home to reclaim her for a month that Jenn shared the fact that my brilliant "housebroken" pet had been pooping on the carpet EVERY MORNING she had been in residence. Nary a word of this bowel dysfunction was shared while I was away. I was appalled and aghast and embarrassed and even still, Jennifer and Scott agreed to take Baci AGAIN for the final 2 months of our time down under.

No way. I can't possibly impose like that. Even after the carpet cleaning!

So, Baci has been relocated to Patti and Michael's house for our final two months away. I hold my breath. I send a few tentative e-mails. Has the little princess behaved? Is she sleeping through the night? Barking too much? Going in the run?

All is well. No worries, reports Patti.

Until this morning, when she reveals that the little angel has gotten into the disgusting doggie habit of, you know, licking her, you know, never mind, you know. Apparently she's also scooting along the Persian carpets to wipe her, you know, and clean off any remaining - let's just say it - Shit. Now that Patti has let the cat out of the bag, she continues to share the lovely news that Baci has also had a couple of urinary leaks.

NOOOOO I scream to myself. I am truly mortified.

However....there's not too much one can do about doo doo so far away. Except get on their knees and praise the lord that they have friends like Jennifer and Scott and Patti and Mike who absolutely know what friends are for.